


finding you again

by itstiredandy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Death, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Prinxiety - Freeform, aaaaaaaangst, with a happy ending ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 04:17:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20057881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itstiredandy/pseuds/itstiredandy
Summary: Call it destiny, fate, or whatever you will. But when two people are meant to be together, they will be, no matter the trials.





	finding you again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [confinesofpersonalknowledge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/confinesofpersonalknowledge/gifts).

> to my lovely friend  
someone who is way too attached to angst and hurt me for making me cry this  
whom i love very much

Some things were never meant to be. 

Virgil was never meant to go to Pascal’s pub a week before they were supposed to go off to battle, no, that was Logan. Virgil was never meant to take Logan’s place as the army leader, since Logan seemed healthy and more than just alive. Virgil was never meant to meet a man called Roman Kastler at said pub, the one he only went to because he became army leader. 

And Virgil was definitely never meant to fall in love with him. 

You see, fate and destiny and anything else you could say was supposed to put both men in the same place at the same time was not something Virgil properly believed in. He had no reason to.

Now, the fact of the matter is that, upon their meeting, Roman was not the kindest and gentlemen…nest [1] of people, being absolutely hammered. And of course, nothing about that had attracted Virgil to him. But the opposite had happened. Something in Virgil had attracted Roman to him. 

[1: yes, that’s a word, shut up.]

“Why, hello, dark knight.” Roman hiccuped his way onto the seat next to Virgil’s.

“You smell like a dumpster, get off.” 

“So- sososososososo-“ He seemed to get stuck on the word so for a while. “So rude!”

This was, what some people called, a meet ugly.

“You’re the one who randomly and drunkenly started hitting at a guy you don’t know at a pub.” Virgil stared him straight in the eye, leaning on the table. “I don’t have patience for that.” 

To this, Roman made a weird face, pursing his lips outwards and standing up. He pushed the chair against the floor so hard, the whole pub heard the sound and heads were turned in that direction for a mere second. Virgil was thankful everyone just went back to minding their own business.

“A’right, a’right, a’right- sheesh.”

The guy, as Virgil thought of him since he never learned his name, went to another table to flirt with some other guy. And that checked out. Nobody at pubs was ever genuinely interested in another person as a human being, they just wanted to get laid. Virgil hated that.

He had wished that had been the end of it, but just the next day he saw the drunken flirt again. The man stumbled on a limp, threatening to fall with every step. Wobbly. Virgil watched for a minute until Roman moved closer to the edge of the docks.

Due to instincts, Virgil reached for the man and pulled him back.

“Hey, you’re the guy from the pub!” Roman smiled with genuineness Virgil didn’t trust.

“Kinda surprised you remember.”

“Well, I was only tipsy, not entirely drunk.”

Virgil snorted. “You sure, bud?”

It took the man a moment to reply. “Fine, I was hammered. And I do remember how… crass my behaviour was. I.. might’ve been hoping that part was all a dream.”

“Wasn’t.”

“I know!” He sighed, dropping his shoulders. “I am sorry.”

Squinting his eyes, Virgil couldn’t help but be suspicious. Was there any tangible reason for him to be? No, but he didn’t care. Mostly because good looking guys like the man who stood in front of him now were hardly ever polite and nice - they believed looks alone could get them anything in Virgil’s experience.

“Accepted.” He shot, before turning on his heels. “Now, goodbye.”

“WAIT!” Roman called after him but Virgil kept on walking, so he had to catch up. “I… Might I get to know you?”

This made Virgil stop and send him a look. The look he reserved for when people asked him stupid questions. You might be familiar with it, it’s the one with the eyebrow raised, thinly pursed lips and eyes that judged one’s very soul.

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why do you want to get to know me?”

“Because I don’t know you.”

“And what makes you want to?”

“The fact you just saved me from taking a plunge into the cold sea is not enough?”

There was a pause here. Virgil thought it would’ve lasted forever, since he was in no hurry and felt no obligation to reply. But curiosity got the best of him.

“So at the pub, it was nothing?”

“Well, not nothing!” Roman defended. “You’re gorgeous, have you no idea?”

Virgil felt his cheeks blush but still kept the stone cold facade. It was harder than he thought it would be. Getting his walls destroyed by a simple compliment, he felt weak and pathetic and - not for the first time - undeserving of being an army leader, even if that was the least relatable-to-this-situation part.

“Look,-”

“Roman.”

“What?”

“My name, it’s Roman Kastler.” He smirked.

Virgil blinked in surprise for a second before sighing. “Look, Roman, I don’t trust you a-”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“What, twice?”

Roman stared in confusion before he perceived the words. “Y-,” he giggled, “You’re funny. But I never asked you to trust me.”

“Huh?”

“Trust is built. Trust is… It doesn’t just happen. I’m not asking you to close your eyes, hold my hand and dive off a cliff with me. I’m asking you to let me hang out with you while we both, with eyes open, sit near the cliff and maybe watch a sunset.”

“I…”

“We can start with a name.”

“My name?” 

Virgil’s heart had started pounding by that point. Madness, it was. Madness and weakness. But damn, if the words didn’t feel good to hear.

“Yes, dark night, who else’s? I already told you mine.”

“Virgil. Virgil Parkins.”

Five days. They had five days to get to know each other before the war began. Virgil would have to set off somewhere after that and he hadn’t mentioned it to Roman. One, why would he? And two, it didn’t exactly feel like something one could just randomly tell the guy they just met at a pub.

That being said, Virgil began to feel infatuated with Roman by the third day. That was bad news. He had spent a lot of time protecting his heart because of the war, knowing love would make everything a hundred times more difficult- and then Roman comes in. Roman, who had the face of a beautiful greek sculpture, who had such a way with words [2], who was the very definition of charming, and who had no idea who Virgil truly was.

[2: lest he was embarrassed or angry, something Virgil learned during their second day together]

See, agreeing to spend his time with the man didn’t mean he felt comfortable being himself around him. While Roman seemingly wore his heart and intentions and everything else on his sleeves, Virgil kept all of those locked inside a little box in his mind. Here and there, he let a glimpse leave, without meaning to. Examples are: one, when Roman made such a ridiculous pun that forced a full on laugh out of Virgil, who quickly covered it up with his hand over his mouth; two, when a little child ran into Virgil, running away from a man who was very clearly not an amiable presence, and Virgil fiercely protected her and took her to a safe place; and finally three, when he had a very real panic attack over going to war. This happened on their third day, when Virgil finally decided that he could… maybe… possibly… trust Roman.

After managing to calm down from feeling as though he was actually dying in that moment, Virgil turned to his companion. They were resting at Virgil’s place, sitting in the living room. Once he expressed Roman that he needed to tell him something, the atmosphere weighed on both their shoulders.

“You… You know the war happening at the border, yes?”

Roman nodded, letting Virgil continue.

“I… goddammit this is hard to say.” He breathed in deep, looking down at his feet. “I’m the captain of the kingdom’s army and in two days, I’m supposed to head over there and… lead an army and I may not…” he looked up, staring Roman in the eyes, “I may not come back.”

The declaration was met with silence. Also a wide eyes Roman, who had dropped his jaw and was not incapable of talking. It took him a minute to recover. Once he did, he moved his hand to cup Virgil’s cheek and tears escaped his eyes. 

“I’m…” Roman choked. “I need you not to hate me when I say what I’m about to say to you.”

“Roman, wha-”

He pulled his hand back, flinching in advance. “I’m also an army captain. The… the opposition’s army captain.”

“So this was all a lie?!” Virgil jumped off his couch. “You came to spy on me?!”

“No!” Roman jumped up as well, moving closer to Virgil to grab his hand. “No, no, no, I promise-”

“How do I trust your word, you lied to me!”

“I omitted an information! And so did you, so please don’t act like I’m the only one in the wrong here.”

Virgil gulped, squeezing the man’s hand. “Fine, you’re right. I’m sorry, I just-” He took a seat again and his voice became a whisper. “How did this even happen? How come you’re here, Roman?”

“Yes, well…” Roman cleared his throat. “I was told I could be a hero, Virge. And after… after the crimes I committed towards my nation, I jumped at the opportunity. I was told that your kingdom was the oppressor, that we were in danger because of you. But I wanted to see it for myself, I wanted to see the threat you posed to us and then I found out… you actually posed no threat at all. And I feared going back to my people and telling them that, they wouldn’t believe me! So I headed to the pub and-”

“Drunk off your ass?”

“Precisely, yes. Fear makes cowards out of us all, doesn’t it?”

“Seems like it.” Virgil closed his eyes and leaned back. “So what do we do now?”

“We could run away together.” His companion sits back down, turning towards him.

“Yo- what?” Virgil shook his head, “Since whe-”

“Since you protected the little girl the other day.” Roman stared into his eyes. “You haven’t left my head since, Virge. You’ve already surprised me more in three days than any other human being I’ve known for longer than a year. And I see you trying to hide yourself, I see it and it hurts because I think… I think that the little I know about you is already amazing and that the rest of you… it would certainly be magical.”

“You don’t get to say all of this.” Virgil’s voice wobbled as he fought back tears, ”You don’t… Yo-“

“Let’s get away, dark knight.”

“Roman, we can’t! We literally have nowhere to go where they won’t find us and what do you think they’ll do once they find us? We’d be committing treason, we’d be killed!”

“I refuse to believe it. I refuse it!”

“Why?”

“We can find a way, Virge, w-”

“Roman, tell me why!”

“Because I’ve been miserable!” The man yells, holding his own legs close to himself. “For the last ten years, I’ve been miserable and you’re the only one that has brought me the smallest piece of joy since.”

“Roman…”

“I don’t want to leave.” Roman started crying, letting all the tears fall and soak his shirt. “I don’t want to see you behind enemy lines and have to-” He gulped, choking as he kept trying to speak again and again.

Due to impulse, Virgil found himself hugging the other. He buried his face on Roman’s neck, squeezing him tight. “I’m sorry, Roman. I’m really sorry.”

They spent the remaining two days together. Up until that evening, they could have pretended nothing was happening and that they could be happy. But Roman had to leave soon and later that night, so would Virgil.

“This is the worst day of my life.” Roman declared, forcing a smile next. “Even worse than the day a flock of angry pigeons ran after me for hours.”

“Did they really??”

“I had a piece of very delicious bread that they were after.” He half laughed. “I came out victorious in the end.”

“Hard to picture…”

“I am no liar!” 

“Of course not.”

The playful atmosphere died down as quickly as it had arisen. Soon, both men hugging each other again, both squeezing the other closer until it nearly became painful to do so. But the most painful was letting go.

“Maybe in another lifetime.” Virgil shot.

“I didn’t take you for someone who believed in reincarnation.” Roman teased.

The other started up at him, eyes blinking away tears. “If I don’t start believing in it now, I’m sure to never see you again.”

“Until another lifetime then,” His companion leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Dark knight.”

Let us spare you the details of the gruesome battle. Both sides fought until their very last breath and most soldiers were injured to death, Roman and Virgil among them. They were left in the outfield along with the other fallen, gasping for breath due to deep wounds. 

Both men looked around for each other until able to do no more than turn their heads on the floor. It was hard to distinguish people from each other when everyone looked so dirty and bloody and most were lying down.

For Virgil, his last moments were anxiety filled. He had no way of knowing if the extent of Roman’s injuries because surely the man had them, or else he would have ridden home with the surviving soldiers who could still ride. Aside from that, his ability to breathe correctly had been compromised, and the more he inhaled and exhaled, the less air he managed to use. Soon, his chest had stopped rising and falling all together.

For Roman, his last moment were anger filled. He was angry he never managed to find Virgil, angry to realize he was probably dead or dying, angry for having been thrown into that situation and, most of all, angry at the two kingdoms for the meaningless war that neither saved nor served anybody. His muscles ached so much and the tears burned on his face, stinging his skin. This was truly his end, their end. By the time people came to retrieve the bodies, Roman would be long gone; face swollen and muscles releasing the tension he had been carrying. 

Many, many, many years later [3], when the war had been long forgotten and the world has changed more than people care to remember, we see Roman and Virgil again. This time, they aren’t army captains, forced to fight in a battle that wasn’t theirs. No, this time, they are high school students.

[3; meaning 2019, when the author is crying as they write this piece for their friend’s birthday]

Roman Kastler is a very well liked seventeen year old. He’s just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. The boy loves like it’s what he’s meant to do and has suffered a lot for it. When Virgil meets him again, he has pretty much lost all hope. But, then, when Roman meets him, something tells him not to give up so quickly.

“Mr. Sanders, may we pick our partners?” 

Roman had put his hand up during Chemistry class when the teacher announced they had a new project to work on.

“Yes, Roman, you want to pick first?” 

“Exactly. Virgil Parkins.”

The also seventeen year old boy, who sat on the other side of the room and at the very back, pulled the earplug off his ear the second he heard his name. His surprised double when he registered what had happened. 

“W- he- me?!” 

“Yes, you, my dude.” Roman turned on his hair to face him with a smirk. “I think we’ll be great partners.”


End file.
